The Beat Goes On

But It Doesn’t Have to Be a War Drum

📝 Opinion | by Guy Saldiveri | February 23, 2026

Sonny Bono was definitely onto something when he wrote the lyrics to that song. While some of the meaning has shifted, I can still see it applying to the garden forums we have today.

I've written about some humorous observations I've made in forums, but this time, it's going to be a little more on the serious side. I’ll keep it from becoming a full‑blown rant if I can—he said with a smile…

Seriously, looking around forums these days, those hot third‑rail topics persist ad infinitum and never get resolved. But one unmistakable pattern is the way people respond to questions that are directly related—or on the fringe of these topics. 

The biggest one, of course, is the native/non-native/invasive/aggressive debate. There is nothing that poses a bigger "disaster in the making" question than one asked about a plant that someone considers invasive.

Another one that comes close is something that is more a Southern thing—pruning crepe myrtles. The first response is generally "Don't you dare commit crepe murder!"

Anytime I see a question on one of these subjects, I just roll my eyes and heave a big *SIGH*. I already know what's coming. There will be fifty responses, and only three actually address the original poster’s question. The rest are busy inflaming the crowd with moral commentary.

I know I can't be the only one who reacts to this. I know because I see the debates flare up immediately. Admins step in, posters get scolded, comments get disabled…

I’ve seen this play out in every gardening group I’ve ever joined—even the in-person ones. It makes me wonder at times why I bother. The same arguments go back and forth. The same things are said and the same things are dismissed and ignored. Many times, it's the same people.

To be honest, I think these people mean well, and they think they are doing a lot of good by pushing their stance. My take, though—and if you've read the rest of my opinions, you already know—is that nature will eventually find its way. Probably not in our lifetime, but it will happen. 

I tend to find this type of person to be as immovable as a mountain, as deeply rooted in their beliefs as Everest is rooted in the ground. Nothing you say will change their minds. When they immediately respond with "That's invasive" or "Don't murder that tree" I know I just need to scroll on by.

Most times, as I'm scrolling, I'm thinking I have lots of plans for the day, but none include being stressed out by strangers I will never meet.

While I don't always agree with what the original poster desires, if I choose to answer the question, I provide an answer. I might add a little aside at the end indicating "you might want to consider this…" but I try not to moralize when all that was asked was a simple—and most of the time, innocent—question. Blasting someone rarely—if ever—wins these arguments.

So the next time you see one of these posts, or someone asks you something you disagree with, take a breath first. Answer the question, and then offer a gentle nudge if you think they might benefit from another perspective.

If you responded to me that way, my first reaction wouldn’t be to shut you out. As we’ve all seen, digging in with a hard stance is rarely the best way to communicate.

Just my take on things—drop me a comment if you find a better way.

Happy Gardening 🌱